Question: How do you make a San Franciscan cringe?
Answer: Tell them that you visited their city and all you saw was Fisherman’s Wharf.
To many, Fisherman’s Wharf is one of the first landmarks that come to mind when they think of San Francisco. Right up there with Cable Cars and Rice-a-Roni. But to most San Franciscans, it’s a cheesy tourist trap that bares very little resemblance to the real San Francisco experience.
It does have some spectacular views of the San Francisco Bay and the Golden Gate, but it’s also loaded with shops selling crass trinkets, chain restaurants and clothing stores that you could find in any major city, and street performers of questionable artistic merit (the first guy who painted himself silver and presented himself as “the human statue” was a minor league visionary. The hundred guys who now do it on every corner of the Wharf are low-rent copycats).
The average San Francisco resident does not hang out in Fisherman’s Wharf. We most certainly do not dine nor shop there.
Still, I know that when you go to a major city for the first time, your curiosity may not be quenched until you see the landmark spots, no matter how pedestrian it may be.
So if you must visit Fisherman’s Wharf, here’s how to get in and get out, and experience the best of it without compromising your cosmopolitan sensibilities.
Requirements:
- Camera
- Comfortable shoes
- Casual dress (if you wear anything nicer than a fleece “I (heart) San Francisco” sweatshirt, you’re ahead of the fashion pack in this part of town.)
Suggestion:
Go on a weekday if possible to avoid the crowds. And go during the day (to avoid wasting a perfectly good evening).
See these things, then get out:
- Musee Mechanique: This San Francisco institution is one of the world’s largest privately owned collections of mechanically operated musical instruments and antique arcade machines. It’s like stepping through a time warp into a simpler, bygone era. This is how kids amused themselves before television, videogames and Facebook.
- See the Sea Lions: For nearly 20 years, the docks on the north side of Pier 39 (the outdoor mall at the center of the wharf) have been a regular hang out for sun bathing sea lions. These puppies of the sea offer the best free entertainment on the Wharf as they dive in and out of the water, climb over each other, and jockey for prime space on the dock. Note: During the summer months, the sea lions migrate south to the Channel Islands for breeding season, but in recent years a small group stays year-round.
- Blues at Lou’s (Pier 47): The upstairs bar of this rustic restaurant serves as a live music venue, hosting some of the best local blues bands seven days a week (the key word here is “days”). The live music starts at 4 o’clock in the afternoon (!), and continues until midnight. So you can catch some live local music without having a late night. (And if you were to have a late night out in San Francisco… the Wharf isn’t the place). The cover charge is only $3 before 8 p.m.
- Support the local fishermen: Yes, the working fishermen for whom the Wharf is named are still around. You can grab a crab cocktail at one of the local stands and get a taste of their fresh catch, and keep moving.
- Boudin at the Wharf: If you do feel the need to have a full meal at the wharf—and please tell me it’s only lunch—try Boudin. This local family-owned company has been around since 1849, making their popular sourdough bread and clam chowder. While they have small outlets throughout downtown San Francisco, their flagship location in Fisherman’s Wharf includes a full restaurant and bar.
So if you do find yourself at Fisherman’s Wharf, hit some of these spots, take some photos of the Golden Gate and Alcatraz (regarding that, I’ve lived here my entire life and I’ve never taken the tour. Haven’t missed it. I’m in one of the most beautiful cities in the world and you want me to spend a day walking around an empty prison? I think not.), check this off your “Been there, done that” list, and move on. Spend an hour, maybe two. You may even get a free adrenaline jolt from the legendary Bushman.
Get it out of your system and then go explore the real San Francisco: North Beach, Golden Gate Park, Land’s End Trail, the Mission or Haight Street for the adventurous, Union Street and Embarcadero for the upwardly mobile… the list goes on.
The real magic of San Francisco lies beyond what you see on postcards and the opening credits of Full House.